Letter To My Little Girl

I wish you knew how much I love you.  I thought if I kissed you enough, you would know how much I love you or if I kissed you plenty, then you would know how much I love you, or hugging you tight every day would make you know how much I love you.  But seem like lately, you would push me away every time I tried to kiss you or dodge me every time I wanted to hug you. Did I kiss you a little too much? Or did my hug not needed anymore? My little girl changed before my very eyes, just like that, in a second, I lost my little girl!

Ah, teenage year, since you are 11 years old, I thought I still had time; why worried, I assume? It'll be another year or two before you will be turning 13 years old, or in my heart, I just knew that you would stay the same, despite tons of mothers telling me that most children change when they turn to teenage year; honestly, I don't believe my little princess will be like that. I thought we were different from any other mother-daughter relationship. We have a strong bond, more substantial than rock, and you will be the same little girl that a month ago still crazy about me, and don't want to be separated from me, you will cry if I left you at home, calling me desperately to come home because you missed me. I was blindsided, and it's hard to believe my little girl changed, and what more hard to believe, it is that fast? You are only 11 years old! Your older brother turned to zombie mode when he was 13 years old. I thought I still had more time, I should learn that this thing is fast and takes without warning, but I thought you were different. You're my little princess. After all, In my belief, you would never change.

Now you don't want to go with me anymore, making many excuses so I won't take you with me.  You rather stay at home watching your anime movie than spend time with me. And I tried, I do try, but you always seem to hurry on doing things on your own. I don't know which one is the culprit in this predicament or which one stealing away my little girl from me? Is it the Anime movie or the teenage year? 

But, all in all, I still love you, my princess! Mommy is so desperately in love with you. I always say, "I love you more than life itself." And still is, despite your moodiness, your rejection, even when you broke my heart, I will yet lay my life for you! I won't do this to anyone else besides you and your brother; if anyone rejects me, I will not come back and offer my love again, but for you, I will always come back no matter how much you try to push me away. I want you to know that you will never be able to get rid of me. I will be your mother for life! So, please slow down a little bit, enjoy your innocent life; why grow up to fast, my love?
You seem eager to grow to be a young lady as if you can't wait to fly away from me; not needing me anymore is hurting me; after all, for me, you are still my little girl, my sweet little angel. 

You are only 11 years old, can't you give me a little more time to adjust? I still can't accept that you want more privacy and more space from me. I still want to be able to hug you tight without you feeling gross and kiss my little girl without she's pushing me away.

But of course, who can stop time from moving forward? So please don't grow up too fast, little angel, soon you will realize this world is full of selfies people, I still want you to stay innocent and shield yourself from this ruthless world. Someday you will understand that this is the happiest time in your life when you don't have to worry about money, the future, and anything else. I want you to be free from all the problems that this world will throw at you. So give yourself a little more childhood happiness, my dear. But even though this world will be harsh to you, remember you are not alone; you have your family behind you and ready to defend you at any time, and please don't lose yourself and your faith in people; there are still good people out there.

They said the teenage year would be passed eventually, and you would go back to being normal again. Still, you will not be my little girl anymore; by that time, you will be a person on your own, you will finish school, and you will be successful. I know this because I know how smart you are and how determined to discipline yourself when you want something done. You ambitious and talented girl, a future leader.  I hope you have more confidence in this and believe in yourself.

I also know teenage life is not easy; I know too, it would be hard for you to handle the hormonal change, peer-pressured. You will experience your first broken heart, a boy problem, school problem, girls problem, but I know that you are a strong person, a girl who loves herself and is loved by her family, a happy girl full of life. I believe I teach you enough to face this uncertainty, and besides, I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I'm here with you! Your mommy will always be here for you, cry with you, watch you, pray for you, catch you when you fall. And I will always be one step away from you silently or with a loud voice to remind you that I'm here when you need me, always will be just one step away.

Please stay sweet and generous, my love! Stay strong and beautiful. Face this cruel world with the most more potent weapon you have, your heart, and your smile. Never stop trying and respect yourself; failure is an opportunity to grow and recollect yourself to get up and try again. Never stop trying; there's a saying, "Shoot for the moon. If you miss it, you will still land among the stars." I believe in you, so you have to believe in yourself to be successful!

I love you always, and you are my little angel who will be in my heart and prayers.

Love,

Mommy